Surreal Phone Conversation
Aug. 31st, 2006 03:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lenora_rose(NB: Colin told me later that there are scams like this, where pressing 9 on a business phone system, would probably have let the company in to access the entire phone system and use it for their illegal purposes, but was probably harmless on a home phone.)
9:20 AM: I'm sound asleep. Phone rings. I stretch out, and the receiver is just in reach without discombobulating the cat.
Me: 'ello?
Automated Phone System: You have won an all expenses paid Caribbean Cruise. To claim your prize, press 9.
Now, We've had a phone call not long ago from some travel realted company at the Wedding Show I went to in February (yes, even though our wedding was months ago now), saying we'd won something in their draw, so, being half awake, I wondered if this wasn't them calling back. I was however, expecting some kind of an attempt to sell me a nonexistant time-share. I pushed 9 anyhow.
I was put on hold, of course, with bad steel-drum music; after about a minute, the system announced I was guaranteed not to be on hold more than a minute, and transferred me to a new system. I got a phone ringing noise, then a connection.
Voice1: Hi!
And back on hold, but now without music.
Another minute passes. I'm half asleep, and on the brink of dreaming.
Voice2: Hello, my name is John, what is your name?
Me (not thinking): Lenora - (About when I realise I don't put out my name to things like this until i know the deal.)
But I'm back on hold before I'm done answering.
Wait. Drift. Cat is warm....
Voice2: Hello, my name is John, what is your name?
Me: Can you explain what this is about first?
Voice2: Entirely incomprehensible mumble.
Me: Pardon?
But I'm back on hold before the word is out of my mouth. I reason that if it's like most automated phone solicitation systems of my experience, they'll call back if I hang up, and I want to sleep. So I figure I'll wait this nonsense out. But I'm not feeling at all friendly, and I'm more dubious with every bit mroe awake I am that this would result in any sort of prize whatsoever.
Voice3: Good morning, this is Rachel speaking.
Me: Hello. Can you explain what this is about?
Voice3: Congratulations. Your phone number has been randomly selected for an all expenses paid Caribbean Cruise. (And there's the confirmation. It's a sales call, and there's no Caribbean Cruise - probably not even a fake time-share.) First of all, could I have your name, please?
Me: Not until you explain what this is.
Voice3: Tammy, okay. And your last name?
Me: No, I said not until you explain this.
Voice3: Can you repeat that?
Me: (Silent)
Voice3: Mmm hmm, I think i've got the spelling. And do you ahve kids?
Me: No.
Voice3: One.
Me: No, I don't have any.
Voice3: Yes, and you're married?
Me: (Silent again. Remember, I'm half awake.)
Voice3: So you have one kid, and you're married, so you definitely qualify.
Me (Enunciating very clearly.): Who are you talking to? Because it certainly isn't me.
Voice3: Now, we need to know a few more things before you can claim your prize.
Me: *click*
Part of me thought at the time that she could hear me ion spite of all evidence to the contrary, but was going through a script because A) her manager was standing right behind her and she didn't want to answer me directly, or B) that was how they kept people on the line long enough for whatever they were doing, but also kept them from getting far enough to find out there was in fact no prize.
But by that time I was pretty sure I wouldn't get a call-back, and if I hung up I'd be able to sleep. And I was right. MM. Sleep.
9:20 AM: I'm sound asleep. Phone rings. I stretch out, and the receiver is just in reach without discombobulating the cat.
Me: 'ello?
Automated Phone System: You have won an all expenses paid Caribbean Cruise. To claim your prize, press 9.
Now, We've had a phone call not long ago from some travel realted company at the Wedding Show I went to in February (yes, even though our wedding was months ago now), saying we'd won something in their draw, so, being half awake, I wondered if this wasn't them calling back. I was however, expecting some kind of an attempt to sell me a nonexistant time-share. I pushed 9 anyhow.
I was put on hold, of course, with bad steel-drum music; after about a minute, the system announced I was guaranteed not to be on hold more than a minute, and transferred me to a new system. I got a phone ringing noise, then a connection.
Voice1: Hi!
And back on hold, but now without music.
Another minute passes. I'm half asleep, and on the brink of dreaming.
Voice2: Hello, my name is John, what is your name?
Me (not thinking): Lenora - (About when I realise I don't put out my name to things like this until i know the deal.)
But I'm back on hold before I'm done answering.
Wait. Drift. Cat is warm....
Voice2: Hello, my name is John, what is your name?
Me: Can you explain what this is about first?
Voice2: Entirely incomprehensible mumble.
Me: Pardon?
But I'm back on hold before the word is out of my mouth. I reason that if it's like most automated phone solicitation systems of my experience, they'll call back if I hang up, and I want to sleep. So I figure I'll wait this nonsense out. But I'm not feeling at all friendly, and I'm more dubious with every bit mroe awake I am that this would result in any sort of prize whatsoever.
Voice3: Good morning, this is Rachel speaking.
Me: Hello. Can you explain what this is about?
Voice3: Congratulations. Your phone number has been randomly selected for an all expenses paid Caribbean Cruise. (And there's the confirmation. It's a sales call, and there's no Caribbean Cruise - probably not even a fake time-share.) First of all, could I have your name, please?
Me: Not until you explain what this is.
Voice3: Tammy, okay. And your last name?
Me: No, I said not until you explain this.
Voice3: Can you repeat that?
Me: (Silent)
Voice3: Mmm hmm, I think i've got the spelling. And do you ahve kids?
Me: No.
Voice3: One.
Me: No, I don't have any.
Voice3: Yes, and you're married?
Me: (Silent again. Remember, I'm half awake.)
Voice3: So you have one kid, and you're married, so you definitely qualify.
Me (Enunciating very clearly.): Who are you talking to? Because it certainly isn't me.
Voice3: Now, we need to know a few more things before you can claim your prize.
Me: *click*
Part of me thought at the time that she could hear me ion spite of all evidence to the contrary, but was going through a script because A) her manager was standing right behind her and she didn't want to answer me directly, or B) that was how they kept people on the line long enough for whatever they were doing, but also kept them from getting far enough to find out there was in fact no prize.
But by that time I was pretty sure I wouldn't get a call-back, and if I hung up I'd be able to sleep. And I was right. MM. Sleep.
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-01 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-01 04:22 am (UTC)One other thing it did say right before it transferred me was that this call was on their bill. Probably more fo the BS line, but if false, it adds more actionable offenses to the scam already in place.