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Sep. 24th, 2006 11:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lenora_roseI didn't make it to choir on Thursday what with the whole job-dissolving thing. I didn't go early this morning for the last-minute practice, either, though i suspected it would be enough for me to help fake it.
I thought it was because this week was just bad luck and all, but... I don't know. I don't feel entirely comfortable, though some members are very welcoming, and most others are friendly. I just don't feel like I fit in. I like singing, I've liked choral stuff before. But I'm not entirely happy with the teaching, such as it is, and the one person I do sometimes get the impression doesn't like me is the director -- though he's a bit reserved, and I could be misreading generic body lanugage as personally standoffish.
Still, it also feels a lower priority than most any other social activity, more along the lines of a duty I'm trying to talk myself into than something I genuinely anticipate doing. I thought that with my Saturdays freer, I could deal with only having two opportunities to go to to archery in any given week, but that sounds like a more appealing way to spend my Thursdays.
The question, I think, is whether the duty to church, and all of church's implied bits about how to use your gifts, are the best place for me *to* use my gifts. On the surface, a medieval group seems less essential to the world than a church, but I fit in better there. I fit reasonably well with the church overall, and some of the people I *like* best are in the choir, but the choir as a whole has a different dynamic than the larger community. To compare subgroups, I feel like I fit in with the Barony as a whole the same way I do with the church, but I'm particularly connected to the people I see at archery - or the dancers. They're my subgroup. With the church I feel the opposite; the whole is better than that single part.
I like to sing, I wouldn't mind trying to relearn better how to sing harmony -- though as I said, the *way* it's taught, which is more throw you in and see if you sink than teaching in this choir, is part of my issue -- but is this the place? The way? The people?
__________________________________
Overall, a good weekend, but energy-draining.
Poor![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
forodwaith was sick on Friday, so we didn't get together after all. Colin called to say he'd be late and I ought to start supper for myself, then called back to say that he'd be coming home after all soon while I was still slicing chicken breast. So I sighed and put away the ginger stir fry sauce and pulled out the teriyaki. pout. i never get to eat the things that are yummy but poisonous to him. :)
Saturday we had a demo: the Sage Herb Gardens were doing their Autumnal Equinox celebration, and they'd invited the Barony to do a display and a dance demonstration (Okay. Half demonstration, and half teaching the curious). I got to spend most of the afternoon dancing in a pretty dress, which is, sorry, just too much fun. (And the rest trying to make plans forbrannie_bird's wedding.
Lady Cristina, the relatively new member who's taken over teaching dance, mostly did a good job; she's sometimes a bit too quick and causal about the instructions, and she doesn't quite have the knack for quickly adapting so that the moment when we had the most people looking interested and wanting to see what we did next ended up with a too-long fumbling with tapes then turned into a water break. However, that break ended up being lucky timing, as one of the Sage Herb gardens people needed to reclaim the extension cord right that moment for a minor emergency,a nd got it back to us about when the break was done.
I don't mean to make it sound like she muffed it. Quite the opposite. Everyone has trouble with the herding-cats aspect of trying to keep people interested in watching what the dancers do next at this kind of wander-by demo, because the amount of time it takes to switch a tape, even if it's all planned out, is too much waiting for some. For someone doing this only a year or so, Cristina does have a decent sense of what to do, and a style of her own. And hey, we danced! (Lots! Whee!) By the end of the day, we were told we'd been the most enthusiastic group.
I shouldn't short-shrift the table display. We had three tables worth of stuff (No need for emergency runs for interesting materials this time!) to appeal to almost everyone, from heavy fighters to artists. And herb tarts int he middle as free food samples, and some ladies very willing to talk, and Bearaich quietly illuminating a little commemorative card to give the the Sage Herb Gardens at the end of the display. He does some stunning work, and his little harping monk inside the letter this time was no exception.
That evening, we hadabacchus and _aura_ over; he to help Colin with a part of the work to finish up our basement before winter, she mostly to visit (She'd brought a just in case movie, but we ended up just talking). I think that was one of the better evenings as far as our cats were concerned, as they got thoroughly played with and petted.
Today, the Barony had a meeting; not the usual dry type meeting (Or at least not that alone) but an assembly to discuss what we can do to get and to keep more members, as right now, we're in a phase where a lot of people (old regulars included) have kind of stopped coming out. It happens in waves; we ahve an enthusiastic load of people for a few years, then a quiet stretch, then another swarm, then a slack stretch -- and it's not *all* the new people leaving, as old members fade intot he woodwork and new faces linger and become more familiar.
We didn't address the inevitable and long-term issue of much politicking (Please don't tell me that those who are Barony members thought this was only about SF fandom and Harlan Ellison.) But as it turns out, there seem to be several things we can do that will in fact be likely to get more people in and hooked before we even address the elephant in the room (It wasn't that elephantine, because most of the people deeply involved in the talk are not the politickers -- but it's not forgettable, or forgotten.)
The best thing was having several brand shiny new people there and giving their thoughts on what they wanted to see that we who've been around a while might miss. The obvious one is that there isn't nearly as much advertising about activities that aren't martial, or as much clear scheduling of same.
Alas, this took place in the house of someone with two large dogs, which meant Colin's allergies flared up even though he'd medicated himself, and... I think I might be allergic to dog too, to a lesser degree. because I had no hestiation about giving them ear-scritchings and the like (These two are *cute*, the black one slightly more than the german shepherd), but by the end of it meant I had a headache that seemed too strong and strange to be conencted to the feeling I ahve like a cold is starting.
Still, I agreed to help with one aspect of things (along with Bearaich and someone who wasn't present but had offered to help with these particular things), and it felt like it was liable to accomplish much.
I thought it was because this week was just bad luck and all, but... I don't know. I don't feel entirely comfortable, though some members are very welcoming, and most others are friendly. I just don't feel like I fit in. I like singing, I've liked choral stuff before. But I'm not entirely happy with the teaching, such as it is, and the one person I do sometimes get the impression doesn't like me is the director -- though he's a bit reserved, and I could be misreading generic body lanugage as personally standoffish.
Still, it also feels a lower priority than most any other social activity, more along the lines of a duty I'm trying to talk myself into than something I genuinely anticipate doing. I thought that with my Saturdays freer, I could deal with only having two opportunities to go to to archery in any given week, but that sounds like a more appealing way to spend my Thursdays.
The question, I think, is whether the duty to church, and all of church's implied bits about how to use your gifts, are the best place for me *to* use my gifts. On the surface, a medieval group seems less essential to the world than a church, but I fit in better there. I fit reasonably well with the church overall, and some of the people I *like* best are in the choir, but the choir as a whole has a different dynamic than the larger community. To compare subgroups, I feel like I fit in with the Barony as a whole the same way I do with the church, but I'm particularly connected to the people I see at archery - or the dancers. They're my subgroup. With the church I feel the opposite; the whole is better than that single part.
I like to sing, I wouldn't mind trying to relearn better how to sing harmony -- though as I said, the *way* it's taught, which is more throw you in and see if you sink than teaching in this choir, is part of my issue -- but is this the place? The way? The people?
__________________________________
Overall, a good weekend, but energy-draining.
Poor
forodwaith was sick on Friday, so we didn't get together after all. Colin called to say he'd be late and I ought to start supper for myself, then called back to say that he'd be coming home after all soon while I was still slicing chicken breast. So I sighed and put away the ginger stir fry sauce and pulled out the teriyaki. pout. i never get to eat the things that are yummy but poisonous to him. :)Saturday we had a demo: the Sage Herb Gardens were doing their Autumnal Equinox celebration, and they'd invited the Barony to do a display and a dance demonstration (Okay. Half demonstration, and half teaching the curious). I got to spend most of the afternoon dancing in a pretty dress, which is, sorry, just too much fun. (And the rest trying to make plans for
brannie_bird's wedding.Lady Cristina, the relatively new member who's taken over teaching dance, mostly did a good job; she's sometimes a bit too quick and causal about the instructions, and she doesn't quite have the knack for quickly adapting so that the moment when we had the most people looking interested and wanting to see what we did next ended up with a too-long fumbling with tapes then turned into a water break. However, that break ended up being lucky timing, as one of the Sage Herb gardens people needed to reclaim the extension cord right that moment for a minor emergency,a nd got it back to us about when the break was done.
I don't mean to make it sound like she muffed it. Quite the opposite. Everyone has trouble with the herding-cats aspect of trying to keep people interested in watching what the dancers do next at this kind of wander-by demo, because the amount of time it takes to switch a tape, even if it's all planned out, is too much waiting for some. For someone doing this only a year or so, Cristina does have a decent sense of what to do, and a style of her own. And hey, we danced! (Lots! Whee!) By the end of the day, we were told we'd been the most enthusiastic group.
I shouldn't short-shrift the table display. We had three tables worth of stuff (No need for emergency runs for interesting materials this time!) to appeal to almost everyone, from heavy fighters to artists. And herb tarts int he middle as free food samples, and some ladies very willing to talk, and Bearaich quietly illuminating a little commemorative card to give the the Sage Herb Gardens at the end of the display. He does some stunning work, and his little harping monk inside the letter this time was no exception.
That evening, we had
abacchus and _aura_ over; he to help Colin with a part of the work to finish up our basement before winter, she mostly to visit (She'd brought a just in case movie, but we ended up just talking). I think that was one of the better evenings as far as our cats were concerned, as they got thoroughly played with and petted.Today, the Barony had a meeting; not the usual dry type meeting (Or at least not that alone) but an assembly to discuss what we can do to get and to keep more members, as right now, we're in a phase where a lot of people (old regulars included) have kind of stopped coming out. It happens in waves; we ahve an enthusiastic load of people for a few years, then a quiet stretch, then another swarm, then a slack stretch -- and it's not *all* the new people leaving, as old members fade intot he woodwork and new faces linger and become more familiar.
We didn't address the inevitable and long-term issue of much politicking (Please don't tell me that those who are Barony members thought this was only about SF fandom and Harlan Ellison.) But as it turns out, there seem to be several things we can do that will in fact be likely to get more people in and hooked before we even address the elephant in the room (It wasn't that elephantine, because most of the people deeply involved in the talk are not the politickers -- but it's not forgettable, or forgotten.)
The best thing was having several brand shiny new people there and giving their thoughts on what they wanted to see that we who've been around a while might miss. The obvious one is that there isn't nearly as much advertising about activities that aren't martial, or as much clear scheduling of same.
Alas, this took place in the house of someone with two large dogs, which meant Colin's allergies flared up even though he'd medicated himself, and... I think I might be allergic to dog too, to a lesser degree. because I had no hestiation about giving them ear-scritchings and the like (These two are *cute*, the black one slightly more than the german shepherd), but by the end of it meant I had a headache that seemed too strong and strange to be conencted to the feeling I ahve like a cold is starting.
Still, I agreed to help with one aspect of things (along with Bearaich and someone who wasn't present but had offered to help with these particular things), and it felt like it was liable to accomplish much.
