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Feb. 20th, 2009 12:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lenora_roseI know why this is hard.
On the one hand, Bird of Dusk is filling up the writing part of my brain. In spite of some minor thoughts on the Serpent Prince popping up (Minor answers to minor problems), this is the story I want to continue with. These are the characters in my head. The plot driving me forward (And there was a little more forward progress than last reported.)
However.
Part of me has become utterly convinced, through various mediums, that this story is NOT going to interest anyone else. It's long. It's unwieldy. It's complex. It's depressing. (Let's see. Rape. Abandonment. Prostitution. Deals with what may as well be a devil, even if it calls itself a dragon. Faerie. A rather nasty love spell. Unusually early onset Schizophrenia - and a number of people could tell me that alone is a place in which to tread carefully. Sacrifices. A cast of characters of which only one major one isn't obviously and patently broken (*anymore* Don't ask about his backstory). And a central theme best described as alienation.) Why would anybody else read this?
Nobody's read it, at least not a draft resembling this one (The ones mom and Corey read lo, many years ago give an idea, but...). Nobody has intentionally come up to me and said. "Give this story up. It's not worth it."
But I've kept reading things mentioned in passing or otherwise on peoples' blogs, about writing theory, their own writing projects, etc. And they either don't apply, or apply entirely wrong.
When I read what I have, there are pieces I love, big and small. But the nagging voice won't go away.
This is different from the usual suck-monkey that hits in the middle of every project, because it's not saying I suck as a writer, or that the writing itself is bad. It's saying, "You write well. Why are you wasting your talent on a book nobody else will want?"
It's saying this is a story without a reader. Which would, if true, make it a story stillborn. A half doesn't survive without the whole.
On the up side, I WANT to get the the university tomorrow and start in on the next pottery pieces I need to make up for plaster casting. Pottery is looking fun and interesting again. (assuming the first plaster cast worked. Assuming I can do with it what I intended.)
So I should go to bed.
On the one hand, Bird of Dusk is filling up the writing part of my brain. In spite of some minor thoughts on the Serpent Prince popping up (Minor answers to minor problems), this is the story I want to continue with. These are the characters in my head. The plot driving me forward (And there was a little more forward progress than last reported.)
However.
Part of me has become utterly convinced, through various mediums, that this story is NOT going to interest anyone else. It's long. It's unwieldy. It's complex. It's depressing. (Let's see. Rape. Abandonment. Prostitution. Deals with what may as well be a devil, even if it calls itself a dragon. Faerie. A rather nasty love spell. Unusually early onset Schizophrenia - and a number of people could tell me that alone is a place in which to tread carefully. Sacrifices. A cast of characters of which only one major one isn't obviously and patently broken (*anymore* Don't ask about his backstory). And a central theme best described as alienation.) Why would anybody else read this?
Nobody's read it, at least not a draft resembling this one (The ones mom and Corey read lo, many years ago give an idea, but...). Nobody has intentionally come up to me and said. "Give this story up. It's not worth it."
But I've kept reading things mentioned in passing or otherwise on peoples' blogs, about writing theory, their own writing projects, etc. And they either don't apply, or apply entirely wrong.
When I read what I have, there are pieces I love, big and small. But the nagging voice won't go away.
This is different from the usual suck-monkey that hits in the middle of every project, because it's not saying I suck as a writer, or that the writing itself is bad. It's saying, "You write well. Why are you wasting your talent on a book nobody else will want?"
It's saying this is a story without a reader. Which would, if true, make it a story stillborn. A half doesn't survive without the whole.
On the up side, I WANT to get the the university tomorrow and start in on the next pottery pieces I need to make up for plaster casting. Pottery is looking fun and interesting again. (assuming the first plaster cast worked. Assuming I can do with it what I intended.)
So I should go to bed.
