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lenora_roseI think I just did something stupid.
I put down the $41.00 hardcover copy of Kushner's The Privilege of the Sword (Affectionately abbreviated to TPOTS or "teapots") *Even though* it is THE one book this Christmas that i didn't get that I wanted so very very very much right then and there. And haven't stopped wanting that way. Though I'm reflexively turned off by the vapid face on the trade paperback copy. Yes, enough to pay twice the cost.
(Note, none of this is the stupid part.)
I put it back because my love for buying from the local beloved store doesn't extend to paying $15.00 more than it would cost on Amazon, at least not when I'm this close to flatline broke. I also decided NOT to poke at Amazon just yet.
(Nor is that the stupid part.)
So what do i do? I go and reread Swordspoint. Stupid!
Swordspoint is a wonderful book; a melodrama of manners. A fantasy novel without magic, though there's some implicit in the setting if you read the whole oeuvre. Beautifully written. It involves theatre performances where the audience are more worth watchign than the play (and not because the play is dull), plotting against one another in complicated ways, with occasionally startling motives. Sudden violence and clever bandying of words. Young people bent on self-destruction and more mature ones bent on self-preservation. And swordfights. Lots of swordfights. It helps if you can tolerate (Or actively enjoy) reading about gay men, since the (not explicit but not fade-to-black) sex scenes are where several of the major twists play out, but I think just about anyone could love this story, its plot and language and people.
Anyhow, in short, this is NOT the way to silence the desire for TPOTS, which is an indirect sequel about the niece of one of the major characters.
Amazon keeps looking better and better, and my Mastercard can handle it...
Or maybe I just need to fix my lovely but slightly gender-confused Elizabethan, and make the jerkin that was always supposed to go over the doublet. If I do that, I'll be able to fence again. Okay, my swordwork would make a cat laugh...
_________________________________
I currently suck at archery.
No, really. We have three new archers out - some with natural talent, some with a little formal learning behind them. But basically new to the sport.
My Winter shoot scores today were equal with the *worst* of the three.
I was shooting unusually badly, even for the moment, I concede; I had several muscle aches and a headache. But I've worked around those better than I did today.
I *think* I've been practicing the kind of practice I should be, where I look at faults and try to amend them. Then they come springing back. And today I was finding new ones.
It's hard; I knew when i started back after almsot dropping it for several months around the wedding that i'd have a fair bit to make up. I knew that deciding to go with a new technique and use the thumb ring would do additional damage to my score and skill. (And switching rings halfway also would.) I understood and accepted that i would look like a poor archer for a while because I was doing something new and different with it, and I would have to untrain habits. I went with this for months.
But part of me is getting very tired of being at a lower base than I once could do. Switching back is not the answer; it would add untraining to retraining and I'd crash. Also, I started to see the advantages, for my personal technique issues and in general, well before I could use the thumb ring enough to really exploit them.
What i really need to do, I suspect, is get to the archery range more times a week, and more times *without* company, so I'm not concentrating on keeping up or on interesting conversations. More drilling on the errors without reference to score or to what my fellows are doing.
May i say explicitly, I don't need advice right now on this (I get that from the fellow archers when i want it.) I might accept hugs. But mostly, I just want to whine a bit, and say I hate sucking. I hate sucking at something I was good at. I hate that it takes time and practice to get good. I hate the feeling of loosing an arrow and having my wrist jerk, or plucking the string, or even just realising too late that my eye wandered off target.... And I hate that all these messy frustrations are getting in the way of the basic enjoyment I get from being there. I hate that right now it isn't feeling calm and meditative, like it does at its best, but frustrating and out of reach. I know it will pass if I keep practicing right -- I found the calm for a handful of minutes at the last practice before today, though it was too close to the end of practice when it hit -- but knowing that doesn't change the feeling of staring at this damn cliff-wall in front of me.
I put down the $41.00 hardcover copy of Kushner's The Privilege of the Sword (Affectionately abbreviated to TPOTS or "teapots") *Even though* it is THE one book this Christmas that i didn't get that I wanted so very very very much right then and there. And haven't stopped wanting that way. Though I'm reflexively turned off by the vapid face on the trade paperback copy. Yes, enough to pay twice the cost.
(Note, none of this is the stupid part.)
I put it back because my love for buying from the local beloved store doesn't extend to paying $15.00 more than it would cost on Amazon, at least not when I'm this close to flatline broke. I also decided NOT to poke at Amazon just yet.
(Nor is that the stupid part.)
So what do i do? I go and reread Swordspoint. Stupid!
Swordspoint is a wonderful book; a melodrama of manners. A fantasy novel without magic, though there's some implicit in the setting if you read the whole oeuvre. Beautifully written. It involves theatre performances where the audience are more worth watchign than the play (and not because the play is dull), plotting against one another in complicated ways, with occasionally startling motives. Sudden violence and clever bandying of words. Young people bent on self-destruction and more mature ones bent on self-preservation. And swordfights. Lots of swordfights. It helps if you can tolerate (Or actively enjoy) reading about gay men, since the (not explicit but not fade-to-black) sex scenes are where several of the major twists play out, but I think just about anyone could love this story, its plot and language and people.
Anyhow, in short, this is NOT the way to silence the desire for TPOTS, which is an indirect sequel about the niece of one of the major characters.
Amazon keeps looking better and better, and my Mastercard can handle it...
Or maybe I just need to fix my lovely but slightly gender-confused Elizabethan, and make the jerkin that was always supposed to go over the doublet. If I do that, I'll be able to fence again. Okay, my swordwork would make a cat laugh...
_________________________________
I currently suck at archery.
No, really. We have three new archers out - some with natural talent, some with a little formal learning behind them. But basically new to the sport.
My Winter shoot scores today were equal with the *worst* of the three.
I was shooting unusually badly, even for the moment, I concede; I had several muscle aches and a headache. But I've worked around those better than I did today.
I *think* I've been practicing the kind of practice I should be, where I look at faults and try to amend them. Then they come springing back. And today I was finding new ones.
It's hard; I knew when i started back after almsot dropping it for several months around the wedding that i'd have a fair bit to make up. I knew that deciding to go with a new technique and use the thumb ring would do additional damage to my score and skill. (And switching rings halfway also would.) I understood and accepted that i would look like a poor archer for a while because I was doing something new and different with it, and I would have to untrain habits. I went with this for months.
But part of me is getting very tired of being at a lower base than I once could do. Switching back is not the answer; it would add untraining to retraining and I'd crash. Also, I started to see the advantages, for my personal technique issues and in general, well before I could use the thumb ring enough to really exploit them.
What i really need to do, I suspect, is get to the archery range more times a week, and more times *without* company, so I'm not concentrating on keeping up or on interesting conversations. More drilling on the errors without reference to score or to what my fellows are doing.
May i say explicitly, I don't need advice right now on this (I get that from the fellow archers when i want it.) I might accept hugs. But mostly, I just want to whine a bit, and say I hate sucking. I hate sucking at something I was good at. I hate that it takes time and practice to get good. I hate the feeling of loosing an arrow and having my wrist jerk, or plucking the string, or even just realising too late that my eye wandered off target.... And I hate that all these messy frustrations are getting in the way of the basic enjoyment I get from being there. I hate that right now it isn't feeling calm and meditative, like it does at its best, but frustrating and out of reach. I know it will pass if I keep practicing right -- I found the calm for a handful of minutes at the last practice before today, though it was too close to the end of practice when it hit -- but knowing that doesn't change the feeling of staring at this damn cliff-wall in front of me.
