Ripples on the surface, currents underneath

Some days, you just can't keep up with the world.

Short version of this last week and weekend:

The event went well. Colin's feast got everything from praise to raves, with the minor exception that some of the duck didn't get all the way around the tables. The servers were fabulous.

Court was much fun - certain local powers that be decided to give Evil Erec an inauguration into the Order of the Sith as a combination tease and tribute, followed by a more serious gift from our Baron, as he's leaving for Afghanistan next month.

The floors were not perfectly swept for the post-revel - I did a super-fast job even after people had already arrived. Nobody particularly noticed. i think our house had about 40 people in it at peak, and things seemed to go well. One of the other out-of-town guests, Hrodir, was probably the life of the late part of the party. Scary man. But a good guy. I think. :)

Our guests were all wonderful, as guests and as people -- this included the four royalty/retainers and one extra friend who biked over the day before the event.

Anybody want a cabbage? I think we have three left (And a bit over a half - I misjudged earlier and thought it a bit less.)

___________________

I am making teapots. I am having fun. I wish the prof had not included an absolute requirement that we do casting, especially as my next project will involve same, and frankly, even the silly parts I was thinking about casting, I could more-than-probably do better just making by hand. Also, making casting slip out of already extant clay is apparently less than easy - unless the clay is dried out entirely first. no time now, thanks.

I understand that she at least half wants to evaluate what we already know how to do. But I'm Doing casting in the next project. Can't she just *wait*?

I need about two more lidded buckets.

___________________

I wish people would remember these things about online interactions:
- a lot of tone is absent. We say this over and over, but it's amazing how easy it is to see only the words on the page as the whole story, and never realise how *different* a person comes across talking, when you can see body language, pitch, volume, inflection, etc. Even with close to identical wording. We do forgive more foot in mouth turns of phrase when we can see the person is trying.
- Reading generously and assuming best motives, is better. Sometimes the best motives possible are still those of an asshole, but if you try and see past foot-in-mouth, you may see there is neither malice nor denial.
- Things happen faster than in real time. What this means, mainly, is that online, it's too easy NOT to step back and cool down when it's urgently necessary to do so. (And this is not saying people have no right to be angry. People have every damn right in the world to be angry, and to express that anger, and I sure as hell don't have any right to give or deny permission. But there are two types of anger. The long-term "Here's a problem that pisses me off" anger, and the immediate fury that comes when someone is provoking, intentionally or not. In the real world, when I'm at my most immediate-furious, I usually can't react coherently enough to express my real grievance. It's BETTER, not for my opponent, but for me, to pause, and breathe, and do something else, and come back to say, "I'm still angry, but now I can explain WHY."
- Having a good cause or a legitimate comment does not prevent you from expressing yourself badly; either by classic foot-in-mouth inability to say it right, or by sheer nastiness. Being abusive while trying to make an otherwise good point is a classic case of the road to hell.
- The circumstances under which it is okay to snub an apology are few, and never when the apology is sincere. Demanding more penitence is a form of snubbing an apology.
- In group collisions, there can be individuals on both "sides" who are either stirring up the pot with malice, or being reasonable every time they talk. There are also people in the middle trying to point out the good in both or the legitimate complaints in both. Lumping all who aren't with you together is a blunder which leads to even more of a mess than otherwise.
- The perfect is the enemy of the good.
- References to the fact that humans have variable levels of intelligence are invariably easier ways to devolve the conversation into incoherent fury and insults than actual curse words. They are never useful.
- All of these are general advice, and though derived from recent debate, are not meant to apply to a single individual or side in any recent activity. Even those that people might guess are inspired by one person are not; they're inspired by two or three at minimum, even if there are instances recently that have been cited more than others.

Ripples on the surface, currents underneath

Some days, you just can't keep up with the world.

Short version of this last week and weekend:

The event went well. Colin's feast got everything from praise to raves, with the minor exception that some of the duck didn't get all the way around the tables. The servers were fabulous.

Court was much fun - certain local powers that be decided to give Evil Erec an inauguration into the Order of the Sith as a combination tease and tribute, followed by a more serious gift from our Baron, as he's leaving for Afghanistan next month.

The floors were not perfectly swept for the post-revel - I did a super-fast job even after people had already arrived. Nobody particularly noticed. i think our house had about 40 people in it at peak, and things seemed to go well. One of the other out-of-town guests, Hrodir, was probably the life of the late part of the party. Scary man. But a good guy. I think. :)

Our guests were all wonderful, as guests and as people -- this included the four royalty/retainers and one extra friend who biked over the day before the event.

Anybody want a cabbage? I think we have three left (And a bit over a half - I misjudged earlier and thought it a bit less.)

___________________

I am making teapots. I am having fun. I wish the prof had not included an absolute requirement that we do casting, especially as my next project will involve same, and frankly, even the silly parts I was thinking about casting, I could more-than-probably do better just making by hand. Also, making casting slip out of already extant clay is apparently less than easy - unless the clay is dried out entirely first. no time now, thanks.

I understand that she at least half wants to evaluate what we already know how to do. But I'm Doing casting in the next project. Can't she just *wait*?

I need about two more lidded buckets.

___________________

I wish people would remember these things about online interactions:
- a lot of tone is absent. We say this over and over, but it's amazing how easy it is to see only the words on the page as the whole story, and never realise how *different* a person comes across talking, when you can see body language, pitch, volume, inflection, etc. Even with close to identical wording. We do forgive more foot in mouth turns of phrase when we can see the person is trying.
- Reading generously and assuming best motives, is better. Sometimes the best motives possible are still those of an asshole, but if you try and see past foot-in-mouth, you may see there is neither malice nor denial.
- Things happen faster than in real time. What this means, mainly, is that online, it's too easy NOT to step back and cool down when it's urgently necessary to do so. (And this is not saying people have no right to be angry. People have every damn right in the world to be angry, and to express that anger, and I sure as hell don't have any right to give or deny permission. But there are two types of anger. The long-term "Here's a problem that pisses me off" anger, and the immediate fury that comes when someone is provoking, intentionally or not. In the real world, when I'm at my most immediate-furious, I usually can't react coherently enough to express my real grievance. It's BETTER, not for my opponent, but for me, to pause, and breathe, and do something else, and come back to say, "I'm still angry, but now I can explain WHY."
- Having a good cause or a legitimate comment does not prevent you from expressing yourself badly; either by classic foot-in-mouth inability to say it right, or by sheer nastiness. Being abusive while trying to make an otherwise good point is a classic case of the road to hell.
- The circumstances under which it is okay to snub an apology are few, and never when the apology is sincere. Demanding more penitence is a form of snubbing an apology.
- In group collisions, there can be individuals on both "sides" who are either stirring up the pot with malice, or being reasonable every time they talk. There are also people in the middle trying to point out the good in both or the legitimate complaints in both. Lumping all who aren't with you together is a blunder which leads to even more of a mess than otherwise.
- The perfect is the enemy of the good.
- References to the fact that humans have variable levels of intelligence are invariably easier ways to devolve the conversation into incoherent fury and insults than actual curse words. They are never useful.
- All of these are general advice, and though derived from recent debate, are not meant to apply to a single individual or side in any recent activity. Even those that people might guess are inspired by one person are not; they're inspired by two or three at minimum, even if there are instances recently that have been cited more than others.